When you were born you were given the gift of voice.   A voice that is uniquely yours,  meant to express your needs, your desires.  To connect with and empower others.  But for so many of us that voice is silenced before we even understand its power. Whether through family conditioning, societal expectations, or the subtle (and not-so-subtle) forces of manipulation and control, we learn to shrink ourselves, to fit in, to be quiet. To survive.

I know this firsthand.

When I was four years old, my dad used to take us out on his speedboat to go waterskiing.  I vividly remember him anchoring the boat in the middle of the lake, and repeatedly throwing me overboard.  I’d fight and tell him no but that seemed to embolden him.  

I didn’t know how to swim so it was a terrifying experience for me.  One made even more confusing because he was always the one to pick me up out of the water and pull me back to the safest place I knew.  The boat.  Which wasn’t really safe at all.  But it was a better alternative than floundering in the middle of a lake 🙂  I guess it was his way of teaching me how to swim.  

This shaped me in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time. I learned early that my voice didn’t matter. That my needs and boundaries weren’t real.  My dad’s psychological, emotional and spiritual abuse was a regular pattern throughout my childhood that I accepted as normal.  And as I grew, I carried that lesson into my relationships, my work, and my very identity.

It took years for me to reclaim my voice. To decide that I was not going to let my past define me.  And along the way, I discovered something that I now call The Moxie Method, a five-phase journey of growth, resilience, and transformation. It’s the path I took to go from overworked, silenced, and disconnected to powerful, present, and unapologetically me. And it’s a path that can help you, too.

Phase 1: The Seed (Stillness & Self-Trust)

Every journey begins with a seed—a moment of pause, a space of stillness before anything begins to grow. But in a world that glorifies busyness and productivity, stillness can feel like the hardest thing to embrace.

For years, I was addicted to work. I poured myself into my career, constantly chasing the next goal, the next opportunity. I thought that if I could just do more, achieve more, prove more, then I would finally feel safe. Finally, I feel enough.  I craved the chaos of work because it was so familiar to the chaos I experienced as a child.  And working was my way of escaping from the pain that I had buried.

But the truth is, the first step toward reclaiming your power isn’t doing more. It’s doing nothing.

I didn’t realize this until I reached burnout. After years of overworking myself, at the expense of my mental health and relationships, I found myself sitting in a hammock, and feeling utterly unmoored. I had no idea who I was outside of my work. I had spent so long proving myself that I had no idea how to simply be.  I had no idea how to love myself without the accolades and the validation.

That’s the lesson of the Seed phase: Growth begins in stillness. Before you can move forward, you have to stop running. You have to listen—to your body, your heart, your intuition.

Ask yourself: When was the last time I sat in silence and truly listened to what my body was telling me I needed?

Phase 2: The Roots (Discovering Your Unique Gifts)

Once you allow yourself stillness, the next phase is about going deeper. Who are you beneath all the expectations placed upon you? What makes you, you?

For much of my life, I thought my worth was in what I could produce. Worth was something I had to earn.  I had to fight my way back to my dad’s boat to prove myself worthy.  To show him, and the world, I was deserving of love.   My ability to work harder than anyone else, to push through exhaustion, to be the “perfect employee,” “perfect partner,” “perfect everything.”

But real self-discovery isn’t about how much you can do—it’s about who you are when you stop trying to prove yourself.

In this phase, I started paying attention to the things that lit me up. I remembered when I was a girl how I used to love writing plays.  My 4th grade teacher Mrs. Maddox and my sixth grade teacher Mr. Larson encouraged me and even let us act out my plays in class.  My proudest moment was when I performed a play I had written on Harriet Tubman for the county school board meeting.   

It was at this young age I discovered my love for storytelling, for connecting with others, for sharing ideas that mattered. But as I grew older, I had let this part of myself lay dormant.  

Until one day I allowed myself to imagine a future where I was leading with those gifts – writing, speaking, performing –  instead of burying them under obligation.  

Ask yourself: What is something that makes you feel alive? What are the things people have always told you you’re great at? Those are your roots. Nurture them.

Phase 3: The Sprout (Embracing Fear & Taking the Leap)

The hard truth is growth isn’t comfortable. Pushing through the soil takes effort. And stepping into your power requires walking through fear.

Some time ago I found myself in another emotionally abusive relationship, the highs and lows were so familiar — one that mirrored the patterns I had learned as a child— where I kept myself small to stay safe and keep the peace.  Then one day a line was crossed.  And I recognized the same sensations I had when my father threw me overboard.  Heart racing, pit in stomach.  My mind was so confused, but my body knew. 

And I was terrified to step out on my own instead of waiting to be thrown overboard.  But this time, I was free to choose.  This time, I chose myself.

I said no. I walked away from what was no longer serving me. And in that moment, I felt something I hadn’t felt in years—my own power returning.  A coming home to myself.

So often fear doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Fear is a sign you’re on the edge of growth. When you feel it, lean in. Get curious about the fear.  How does it show up in your body?  And get curious about your own voice of discernment.  Often you will feel both at the same time.  The key is to recognize the difference between the two.  And push through the soil when you feel the fear AND your intuition telling you “go this way”.

Ask yourself: Where am I holding back because of fear? What would happen if I moved forward anyway?

Phase 4: The Bloom (Owning Your Voice & Power)

After you push through fear, something incredible happens: You begin to bloom.

For me, that moment started when I stepped onto a stage for the first time. I had been invited to give a keynote talk, and I almost said no. I’m not ready. I’m not the right person for this.  I couldn’t escape the fear.  But then there was my own intuitive knowing, that breaking through the fear and the noise is telling me “this is the way”.

And I realized—this is what I’ve been growing toward all along.  See, two years prior to this I had written a goal in my journal that I wanted to speak on a stage one day.  This was my chance.

So I stepped forward.

I’ll never forget the day before the event I went to the venue.  I walked onstage for the first time in my career in front of an empty room and my body got goosebumps.  

My body knew.

And from that moment on I had clarity on exactly who I was and what I was meant to be.

This is the phase where you finally stand in your power. Where you stop apologizing for your voice. Where you own your space, your truth, your gifts, unapologetically.

Ask yourself: Where in my life am I ready to take up more space? What am I no longer willing to shrink for?  What is my intuitive knowing calling me to be?

Phase 5: The Pollination (Expanding & Lifting Others)

Flowers don’t bloom just for themselves. They bloom to spread life. To nourish others. And when we step into our power, we don’t just change our own lives—we create ripple effects that impact everyone around us.

This is where I am now. Speaking. Writing. Sharing my story—not just for me, but for the women who came before me, and the women who will come after.

Because the truth is, your voice is not just for you. When you reclaim your power, you give others permission to do the same.

Ask yourself: Who can I uplift? How can I use my voice to make a difference?

Final Thoughts: The Moxie is Already in You

So many of us are sleepwalking through our lives – unaware of the generational patterns that keep us playing small.  But what if there is a truer, bolder you, aching to be?  What if you let your body tell you what it needs and connect with your own intuitive knowing.  The essence of you.  Your compass.  Your safe place.  Your conduit with the divine.

This journey—The Moxie Method—isn’t about becoming something new. It’s about returning to yourself.  And reclaiming the voice that was always yours.

So if you feel lost, if you feel silenced, if you feel like you’re waiting for permission to step into your power—let this be your sign.

You don’t have to wait anymore. The Moxie is already in you. 

This is the Moxie Method:

1. Stillness (The Seed)
2. Discovery (The Roots)
3. Embrace Fear (The Sprout)
4. Own Your Voice (The Bloom)
5. Lift Others (The Pollination)

Water it. Nurture it. Let it grow. And when the time comes, bloom.