When Dr. Melissa Steach joined Nicole Donnelly on the Hello Moxie podcast, listeners were treated to a masterclass in grit, grace, and the fierce beauty of living with intention.

From her childhood in Birmingham’s housing projects to rubbing elbows with Hollywood’s elite, Melissa’s life story is one of reflection of someone who knows how to blend intellect, emotion, and a bit of cheekiness into everything she does. And in true Moxie fashion, she doesn’t hold back.

“Work is a tool — not a trap.”

As an industrial-organizational psychologist, artist, and creator of The Art of Working Through Life, Melissa helps people redefine their relationship with work. “Work isn’t who you are,” she shared. “It’s the tool you use to create a life that feels like you.” That shift in perspective — seeing work as an enabler rather than an identity — lies at the heart of her coaching and leadership philosophy.

Her career spans art, academia, and corporate leadership, but at every pivot point, Melissa has stayed rooted in curiosity. “I’ve always kind of resisted that expert label,” she said. “But there’s a tipping point where you have to step in and own it. Still, I’m always checking in to ask — is my point of view still valid?”

The Moxie of Self-Reflection

That capacity for introspection was one of the most powerful themes of the episode. Melissa described using the framework of The Work by Byron Katie to challenge her beliefs. “You come up against a belief about a person, place, or thing, and ask: is that true? Is that really true? And then — how do you know it’s true? Finally, you flip it. Turn it around.”

She applies that approach not just to big ideas, but to the emotional noise of everyday relationships — especially those moments when insecurity creeps in. “I’ve done so much work on myself that I can usually catch it,” she shared. “But I had a moment with a friend where I was feeling a certain kind of way because she didn’t respond how I expected. And I had to laugh at myself and say, ‘Girl, you’re being paranoid.’”

“Don’t wear your bikini to the boardroom.”

Of course, no conversation with Melissa would be complete without her signature humor. When Nicole asked about stepping into leadership roles with authenticity, Melissa delivered this gem: “Just don’t wear your bikini to the boardroom. You’re the same person. Just dress appropriately — cognitively, emotionally, and socially.”

The analogy is a poignant reminder that leadership isn’t about changing who you are. “You got the job because you can do the job,” she said. “Companies sometimes want everyone to come as they are, but they don’t set the boundaries well. You’ve got to understand the context and show up accordingly.”

Trauma, Armor, and the Warrior Within

When asked what woman in history inspired her most, Melissa didn’t name a modern icon — she chose Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom and war. As a child with no relationship with her father, Melissa found solace and strength in Athena’s story. “She sprang fully armored from Zeus’s head,” Melissa explained. “That armor — it gave me something to imagine for myself.”

It’s no surprise that her childhood shaped her deeply. “I grew up with school teachers, preachers, winos, pimps, and prostitutes,” she said. “And I’ve also worked with the rich and famous. What I learned is this: the same shenanigans are on both sides. It’s just society that decides who gets glamorized.”

A Pint-Sized Entrepreneur with Guts

One of the episode’s light-hearted highlights was Melissa’s earliest Moxie moment — crocheting hair ribbons at age seven and selling them door to door. “Sometimes we forget who we are at our core,” she said. “That little girl with the yarn — that’s me. I figure things out. I make a way.”

And then came the heavier story: a moment as a teenager when a local drug dealer pulled a gun on her after a misunderstanding. Her response? Fierce and unshaken. “Shut the F up,” she said to her screaming friend in the backseat. “The gun is not pointed at your head.” The man broke into laughter and let them go.

“I didn’t even know where that came from,” she recalled. “But sometimes your survival instinct kicks in. You just know what to do.”

Moxie, Defined

If Melissa’s life teaches us anything, it’s that moxie is turning childhood pain into purpose. And sometimes it’s wearing a high-cut bikini — in spirit, not in the boardroom.

“I think the more you know, the more you realize how much you don’t know,” she said. “So I’m always checking myself. Always staying humble. The world is a beautiful, delightful, and contradictory place.”

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